Chapter 4: Hiss

Translated & Edited by Dandan

Because the problem that he was facing was too severe, Luo Fei did not bother to continue to talk with Xi Yanqing. He felt that there was a more urgent problem to solve, that is, cutting wood! The “toilet paper” used by the people during this time was not disposable but was washed after use and reused. Even more so, the whole family shared only one! Luo Fei just thinking about having to wash it off after use and the fact that it may have already been used by others, he was extremely distressed over the dilemma. It gave him a headache, no a migraine! Ah, this problem was just so troublesome!

Suddenly he felt that the flush toilet was one of the most commendable inventions in entire the world. He didn’t feel so amazed before, but now that he couldn’t use it he finally appreciated it. When Luo Fei arrived home, he began to look for wood that could be used for the toilet paper- he also thought about using leaves. But this season, the trees here in the north were bare and had no leaves. Fortunately, he found that wood is very easy to find, because there are two big mountains around Huaping Village with all kinds of trees. Especially in this season, every family would prepare some firewood, but the biggest problem was that when he cut the wood, it left splinters and the surface was not smooth enough.

“Second brother, what are you doing?” Luo Yi looked at his brother and saw that immediately after returning home he ran to the firewood room. He was busy for a long time.

“I am here, making shit sticks.” Luo Fei did not know whether he would understand but decided to make a lot anyway.

“Isn’t there already one in the shack?” Luo Yi looked at Luo Fei with a puzzled look. “Why are you still cutting more?”

“Don’t we just have two? I will make a few more. I heard from Xi Yanqing that it is best to have many and use separately.” Luo Fei was a bit flustered, and continue to cut, feeling that besides the small knife and wood he may need some sandpaper or something.

“You really went to see Brother Xi? When I heard mother say that, I thought that you must have gone out and just walked a few circles before returning. What did he tell you? Did he tell you about when he was fighting? Tell me about it too.” Luo Yi looked eager.

“What fighting!” Luo Fei said and after seeing Luo Tian approaching, he quickly raised his voice: “I told him to withdraw from the betrothal, lest he wears a ready-made green hat and be laughed at. He said that being laughed at to death is better than starving to death. He was saying that there is nothing to eat in his field right now and that he was counting on my dowry to fill his stomach. Don’t you think he needs a good beating?”

“I think you need a beating!” Luo Tian “Pa!” smacked the back of his second son’s head. “He is teasing you. If he really was a little coward who needed to rely on you, he would not have gone to be a soldier. Is your brain okay? Do you know what you are saying!”

“Hey, can you not hit the head?” Luo Fei rubbed his head. He definitely used his strength, it hurt too! He didn’t want to think about how strong his new dad was, but it seemed he was indeed a bear-like man.

“If you don’t want to get beat, then stop playing around. Your father hasn’t read as many books, but I am still not as silly as you. When I came over, you shamelessly tried to slander that Xi family kid, how do you have peace of mind, huh?” Luo Tian brushed the dust off his clothes, “Go, get your father a bowl of water.”

“Let Fourth Brother go, I have something to do.” Luo Fei continued to cut and cut!

“What are you doing?” Luo Tian always felt that his Second Son was a little strange after jumping into the river.

“Making shit sticks,” Luo Fei said, “I heard Xi Yanqing say that it’s better for each person to use their own so I quickly cut one. But this is not smooth enough no matter how I cut it, what to do?”

“What? Look for a stone to polish it and it should be fine.” Luo Tian drank from the large bowl of water, “Where’s your mother?”

“Mother organizing the seeds of the crops, saying that she is going to give some to Brother Xi. It is almost planting season. There is definitely nothing planted at Brother Xi’s place.” Luo Yi took the water bowl in Luo Tian’s hand. He hadn’t seen Luo Ji for a while, and asked: “Did Eldest Brother go to the mountains to plow the land?”

“En.” Luo Tian said frowning. This eldest son had been brooding and silent since his wife paid. He felt that he had dragged his family down, so he whenever he had the opportunity, he would work. Every spring, he went to the mountains to plow the land. He always thought about supporting the family with additional crops.

Luo Yi after getting the answer, bowed his head and didn’t talk, and looked a bit complicated.

Luo Fei felt the strange atmosphere and also frowned.

They had no scholars in the family. They used to not be able to afford it. Later, when they were able to, they decided to have Luo Yi study. However, when Luo Yi reached the age when he was able to study, Luo Ji’s wife became sick and the money was used to treat Luo Ji’s wife. The plans for Luo Yi’s education had been dragged on to the now.

Luo Yi was fourteen this year. If he continued this way, he still didn’t know when he would get an education.

Luo Fei looked up at the sky and felt that he was in a dream. If it weren’t for the wood in his hand scratching his hand, he would have thought that he might wake up in the next second.

Fuck!

In this situation, when can I use toilet paper? !

At this time, Luo Fei’s eyes unexpectedly fell on the porcelain bowl in Luo Yi’s hand. There was a flash of light in his mind, and a bright light lit up!

“What are you looking at Second Son?” Luo Tian asked.

“I see… If you use that piece of porcelain to wipe your butt, then it wouldn’t be scratchy?!” Luo Fei suddenly stood. “Yeah! Why didn’t I think about it earlier, I’m so smart!”

“As if!” Luo Tian smacked the back of his head with his bear-like palm on. “Smart my ass! This is the only porcelain bowl we have. It’s what I use to drink water, and you want to use it to wipe your butt?! You little!”

“Ah, ah! Dad, dad! I am joking, joking! Aiyo!” Luo Fei threw the things from his hand and ran to the yard. “Mom! Save me ahhhh!” It was necessary to call for help in this situation!

“Luo Tian!” Li Yuehua shouted an took a stance. “You said that I spoiled him until he became wild. I think it is because you to beat him till he was wild! If you beat him again I’ll need to deal with you!”

“Mom, you still love me the most!” Luo Fei shamelessly hid behind Li Yuehua, “Dad is too fierce!”

“Don’t be afraid, he is just trying to scare you. If he really wanted to bury you, the grass on your head would have already grown very tall.” Li Yuehua patted Luo Fei’s hair. “Go, send these seeds to the Xi house.”

“Ah? Going again?” Luo Fei took the small gray cloth bag, opened it and saw quite a few seeds in it. They were carefully separated by the pieces sewn in the inside.

“In a few days they will have to be used, also why didn’t you bring back the basket for the steamed buns back? Later I still need to pack food for your elder brother to eat back, go bring it back for your mother.” Li Yuehua patted Luo Fei, “Go quickly.”

“He will plant them?” Luo Fei rolled his eyes and started out.

It was the same way that he walked in the morning, it was the same violent knocking method. After Luo Fei entered the house, he sat down on the little horse bench in the courtyard: “Give.”

 “What is it?”

“Vegetable seeds.” Luo Fei said lifting an eyebrow. “What are you doing?” The yard had a lot of thicker pieces of wood than when he came in the morning.

“The farm tools are broken, and repairs are needed.” Xi Yanqing took the vegetable seeds. “It’s almost time to plant at your house too isn’t it.”

“Well. I say that you are very fast at adapting, faster than me.” Luo Fei saw the banquet to clear this posture, it seemed that he really wanted to settle down here, “Do you know how to plant the land? If it does not I advise you to think about other ways to avoid starving to death. Anyway, if you are relying on dowry, you should not think about it, since my family is poor.”

“My major is agriculture-related, and I still have…” Xi Yanqing pointed to his own head. “I still have a good memory, so it is not difficult.”

“Yeah, good for you. Fuck, why did I go to arts school.” Originally he thought he would be able to shine in the entertainment circle. Who would have thought that he would transmigrate to this bird-shit place. In modern times, stars could live in luxury but in this ancient time, people with the least place were actors. Oh, it wasn’t called an actor here, afraid he was going to be called an “opera actor” (the term is derogatory).

“It’s no problem; when you transmigrated here, another path opened for you.” Xi Yanqing said in a clear tone, “You still have the chance to choose a good husband.”

“Fuck off!” Luo Fei stood up. “Where’s the basket used to hold the buns? Bring it here! I need to take it back.”

“Not going to sit for a while?”

“Do you want to withdraw? If you withdraw, I will be! Very! Very! Happy! And sit for a while.”

“Is the toilet problem solved?”

“Shut up!” When he thought about spending an entire morning cutting those things that he still didn’t dare to use, Luo Fei was furious! He grabbed the basket from Xi Yanqing’s hands and immediately left.

“Luo Fei!” Xi Yanqing called to him at this time. “I am serious, you should think about it, at least we have a common background. And I can promise you…” Xi Yanqing turned around and laughed and said: “If you come to my house, you can wash your ass anywhere, anytime.”

“Son of a bitch!” Luo Fei couldn’t stand it and “peng!”  slammed the door, and when he left, he was as fast as the wind, like he had just eaten □□ (in the original text, assume it’s “shit”).

Although it was far-fetched to think about, why was it not his male god who transmigrated with him ahhhhhhhh! Thieves!

He knew he shouldn’t have studied performing arts!

At first, Luo Fei wanted to learn design, but his aunt convinced him with some persuasive words. In addition, he did have some talents in the performance area, and his family situation wasn’t bad, so he ended up going to film and acting college on an impulse. His male god, Liang Boyuan was a popular figure in their film and acting college. Not only was he handsome, but his grades were also good. His performance in his major was excellent, and many people liked him.

He was naturally one of them, and he had been trying hard to express his feelings to the senior.

And so, on one occasion, he found his senior together with Xi Yanqing. He asked the other seniors, and even they were not able to figure out the relationship between the two. It was really one of those situations that felt like a pig ruining the cabbage, and it made his heart chaotic.

Well, fine, in fact, the pig is quite handsome, but it doesn’t matter how handsome he is!

“There is a common language, there was a term for it. He is a love enemy! Life is a love enemy!” Luo Fei returned to his home, there was no one in the kitchen, and so he heavily placed the basket onto the table. Suddenly, he felt that something was sinking in his lower body.

Not good! He had to go to the outhouse!

Luo Fei instantly remembered the shit stick that he had cut in the morning, and then as a hygiene conscious person, he chose the latter without hesitation between the “common” and “possibly broken chrysanthemum” shit stick…  The price of his impulse was that his chrysanthemum was scratched.

Luo Yi was sweeping in the chicken coop and suddenly heard “Owuuu~~~” screams. He rushed to the door of the outhouse, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Brother, are you okay?”

“Nothing!” Luo Fei’s gritted his teeth, and with difficulty walked out. “I was just stabbed by the door.” He was afraid that Luo Yi would be suspicious but it was too shameful to say that he had been scratched by the shit stick he had carved, in the toilet.

“It’s good nothing happened, you scared me.” Luo Yi finished and went back to sweep the chicken coop

Luo Fei let out his breath and walked slowly into the house, but he now he knew that the shit stick he had used, the material was not suitable for wiping.

This not even Xi Yanping knew about and so for the rest of the day, Luo Fei hissed at the pain in his lower part.

Luo Fei was afraid that he would have to go to the bathroom before his wound healed, and so at dinner, he ate less than before. He walked slowly, and it seemed like his heart was heavy with worries. And from the loving eyes of Li Yuehua and Luo Tian, it appeared that their son was still thinking about Zhang Yangfan that scum, so they also did not have an appetite.

“Him being in this state is not okay.” Seeing that the children were asleep, Li Yuehua said, “we have to think of a way.”

“What way?”

“This way.” Li Yuehua whispered to Luo Tian for a while, “What do you think?”

“You are willing?” Luo Tian glanced at his wife, not expecting that she actually had the heart to do it.

“Willing. The old saying goes well, you can’t overcome things without taking risks!” Li Yuehua said, “we must be willing!”

“Yes! Then let’s do what you said!”

In the other house, Luo Fei, who had been sleeping well, suddenly somehow sneezed. (They say when someone is talking/planning about you behind your back, you sneeze.)

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