Chapter 3: Shit Stick

Translated & Edited by Dandan

To say who Luo Fei hated the most in the world, Xi Yanqing definitely ranked first.
First of all, this person was his love rival, every day he was stuck like glue to his heart’s male god! Secondly, this person is his natural enemy. In the end, this person actually chased him to here!

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!”Luo Fei felt that something heavy was weighing over him and he suddenly shouted like he was crazy: “I won’t marry!”

The room of people turned silent and looked at him, including Xi Yanqing.

Luo Fei also gradually realized that his behavior must have seemed crazy. But he still insisted: “I-I’m not marrying him!”

Luo Tian’s face suddenly grew dark: “My Second son! You are trying to anger your father to death aren’t you!”

Luo Yi felt that he must have had another sentence that he wanted to say, but since Xi Yanqing was there, he did not say it. It was probably: if you’re still thinking about that bastard Zhang Yangfan, I’ll break your legs! 

Luo Fei fiercely looked into Xi Yanqing’s eyes and said: “Hey! Tell them!”

Xi Yanqing said: “Uncle Luo, since Luo Fei has already awakened and seen me, then I will go back first, and then come see him again later.”

That also works.” Luo Tian nodded his head，“ You just returned，the things you must do at home must be numerous，go ahead and figure them out.” It was just in time that he had something he needed to say to his second son!

Xi Yanqing smiled at Luo Fei, bowed to Luo Tian, ​​turned and left. When Luo Fei saw Luo Yi following to send him out he was angry beyond words. Son of a bitch! Xi Yanqing, if you dare to accept this marriage see if this one won’t throttle you to death!

Luo Fei squatted: “Dad, anyway I’m not marrying him.”

Li Yuehua slapped Luo Fei’s back: “Hey, stop talking nonsense! If you keep on being like this Mom and Dad are going to actually be angry. That guy is not married, is living well and still remembers you. You, if you don’t marry him, then who are you going to marry?”

“I’m telling you, my son! If you dare to still think about Zhang Yangfan, I will let Xi Yu carry you away right now!”

“Who’s thinking about that surname Zhang?!” Luo Fei couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let that go. “It has nothing to do with Zhang Yangfan. I just don’t like Xi Yanqing!”

“Telling me this will do nothing!” Luo Tian has always spoiled his second son, but obviously this time he was discouraged. “Look, it’s all because you spoiled him!” Luo Tian said to his wife, “In these few villages, what other ger is as spoiled as him!” 

“Like you don’t also spoil  him!” Li Yuehua glared at her husband, “Darling, listen to mother. Mother knows that you have been separated from that Xi guy for a few years, and you are unfamiliar. But when two people come back together, over time the feelings will return. Besides, you are now in this situation, and everyone in the village knows, who else would dare to raise a family with you in the future? Do you want to live your whole life alone?”

“Right!” Luo Fei’s eyes lit up. “Tomorrow, I will find that surname Xi and tell him!”

“Ah?” Li Yuehua asked, “What are you going to say to him?”

“Say… anyway, just talk.” Luo Fei thought in his heart, you can’t be stupid enough to wear a ready-made green hat? (Wearing a green hat symbolized a cuckold or someone who is being cheated on. Since everyone knows about the ZYF incident, LF is saying that everyone would expect him to cheat on XYP.) Withdrawing was definitely a better idea.

Having thought through it, the last night he hadn’t slept well. Luo Fei slept very well this night, so the next morning, when the rooster crowed, he was just about awake.

During the beginning of spring, the sun still didn’t rise too early. When he woke up, his mother Li Yuehua, was already busy with the family’s breakfast in the kitchen. At this time, she was steaming buns while stirring porridge in a pot. Basically, the breakfast at the Luo house was like this, and this was considered a good situation.

Rice or something, don’t even think about it!

Luo Fei doesn’t like to drink porridge. He likes rice and vegetables most, then noodles, followed by porridge with cakes. But here, obviously, having enough to eat to be full was already good.

“After a while, take a few steamed buns and send them to the Xi house.” Li Yuehua stirred the rice porridge and said, “Xi Yu just came back, he still has to organize a lot at home, I’m afraid that it is probably not convenient to cook… Darling, your mother is talking to you!”

“Ah? What did you say?”

“I want you to send a few steamed buns to Xi Yu.”

“Aiyo, mom, I’m not going.” Luo Fei inhaled the fragrance of the steamed bun. “And, he is Xi Yanqing.”

“It’s him either way.” Li Yuehua took a few buns and put them in a small basket. “Didn’t you say you were going to find him yesterday? Sending them to him should be fine, why don’t you want to go anymore?”

“Think, I just had a bad quarrel with Zhang Yangfan. Now that the Xi Yanqing is coming back, and I already go take these to look for him, its almost as if I am afraid that he would not want me anymore.” Luo Fei did not want to turn from someone decided on suicide to someone who just goes along with what others tell him to do.

“Mouth grow on people’s bodies. Whether you go or not, people’s tongues will wag. Why are you afraid of them?” Li Yuehua put the basket into the arms of her second son. “Go.”

“I can’t go after I finish eating?” When he finished talking to him, wouldn’t he only be back after the whole family finished eating? He still wanted to discuss with Xi Yangqing for a while, and he estimated that it would be a while before he got back. If they didn’t discuss anything else, but transmigrating together, he still had a lot of questions to ask Xi Yanqing.

“How about you just eat breakfast with him and then come back.” Li Yuehua put two more buns into the basket and added a little bit of pickled vegetables. When Xi Yanqing had come yesterday, she had had a good impression of him. Especially after her son fainted, Xi Yanqing looked very anxious and worried and it did not look as if he was pretending, which made her very satisfied. She has to find more opportunities for the two children to get along. When being a mother, she doesn’t hope for much but she does hopes that her children will find a partner they can go through thick and thin with.

Luo Feiyi is thinking, too, that he is not the kind of person who cares about other people’s opinions, what was wrong with what he was doing? Isn’t it just sending some buns to the Xi house?

Anyway, he will eat one on the way!

He didn’t eat anything when he was locked up. After he was released, he felt that the food didn’t suit his taste, and barely ate. Now smelling the fresh steamed bun aroma, Luo Fei was feeling quite appetized.

Luo Fei had a bad habit. When he ate buns he liked to peel off the outer skin (sort of like decrusting bread I guess). He already held intentions of ill will, and he decided to peel the skins off of all the buns in the basket. Not only that, but he also ate a piece off of every one of them. When he went to the door of the house, all the buns in the basket were all ugly and looked as if they were “naked”.

See if you want to eat them now, Luo Fei took the basket and hesitated for a little before raising his hand and knocking on the door: “Surname Xi! Are you up?!”

Xi Yanqing had cleaned up the house until very late last night. He only got about four hours to sleep and had already woken. The main reason was that the house went too long without anyone living in it, and it was very cold. He added fuel twice to the heater yesterday and it did not warm up completely, so he thought about starting another fire that morning and then fixing some food for himself.

During this season, the ground was still empty. When he came back, he bought some pancakes in town, and some pickled vegetables, preparing to fend for the first two days and then figure out what to do.

He also thought about thinking up a reason to go to see Luo Fei after breakfast but turns out Luo Fei actually came by himself.

Xi Yanqing came out and opened the door. He saw Luo Fei standing in the doorway smiling with a bit of an evil look. Seeing him come out he quickly changed his expression into one that looked as if he didn’t care and was unwilling. Xi Yanqing felt it funny in his heart but did not reveal it on his face. He only asked: “It’s so early, is there something wrong?”

Luo Fei displayed the basket: “I… my mother said that you just came back, probably not convenient to make breakfast, so to bring you something to eat.”

Xi Yanqing smiled and said: “I must thank Aunt Li, what is it?”

Luo Fei’s lowered the basket: “Why don’t you look and you’ll find out?”

Xi Yanqing always felt that Luo Fei was harboring mischievous intentions. Sure enough, when the cloth was undone, none of the buns in the basket were complete. They were all missing some skin here and there, and they all lacked a corner. They were either bitten or robbed of their skin.

Luo Fei smiled in his heart, but his mouth did move. He looked at Xi Yanqing and said: “Hey, I came to deliver some breakfast this early in the morning, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Xi Yanqing moved away from the doorway: “Come in. But I have not finished organizing, and it is a bit messy.”

Luo Fei’s heart told him that even if someone cleaned the place, it would not feel clean. He had gotten used to seeing floor tiles and bricks, and now he saw earthen walls and mud floors, there was no way he could call it clean.

However, when Luo Fei entered the house, his mouth could not help but drop open. The room was actually much cleaner than he thought it could be. It was obviously the same earthen wall and mud, Xi Yanqing’s house seemed cleaner than his. Although the ground was muddy, it was very smooth and the things were also placed as if there was a planned layout. Even the stoves and tables were not stained, which was hard to imagine in the countryside of this era. Where in this time did people who lived like this exist? It seemed like the house of a neat person who has been here for a long time!

“Was this all organized by you?” Luo Fei unceremoniously moved a big wooden chair and sat down, in his heart, he was a little stunned

“Well, I haven’t finished yet, but this is all I’ve been able to do for the time being.” Xi Yanqing said, and put the basket on the table, took out two pairs of chopsticks, removed the small bowl of pickles from the basket and set down two small bowls. He then poured fresh hot water into them. Obviously, he had seen the state of the buns, but he did not reveal the expression of disappointment or disgust. Picking up one of them, he began to eat them with the hot water.

“…Hey! Are you really eating?” Luo Fei frowned. He couldn’t stand that his little trick hadn’t worked on the infallible Xi Yanqing. “I’ve touched them with my hands.”

“What about it? Having enough to eat here is already good. Are you saying we should throw them away?” Xi Yanqing took a bite of the bun and then a bite of pickled veggies, and then drank some water from time to time. He used his actual actions to show what is called “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

“People like you…” Luo Fei looked at the bowl, noting that it was quite clean and drank some water. “Hey, let me ask you, how long have you been here for?”

“A week. What about you?”

“Two days.” Luo Fei made a “v” gesture with his fingers, “I’m not used to it, no mobile phone, no computer, there isn’t even a toilet, it is really such a pain. I don’t know if I can even go back, if not, then I’ll really go crazy.”

“It’s probably not possible to go back. Let’s slowly get used to it.” Xi Yanqing picked up another bun.

“Get used to it? Are you able to adapt?!” Luo Fei said indignantly, pulling at his clothes. “Let’s not talk about this, can you withdraw from the betrothal?”

“No.”

“No?!” Luo Fei instantly frowned, “Why can’t you?! Don’t you know that I was just squandered by a scum?! Everyone thinks that I love that miserable Zhang Yangfan thing. If you don’t withdraw, what are you going to do?! Wear this era’s green hat? Aren’t you afraid the others will laugh at you to death?”

“It’s better to be killed by jokes than to be starved to death.” Xi Yanqing said calmly, “My field has nothing to eat in it. I still hope that your parents can bring me some dowry…”

“Xi Yanqing! Can you not be so shameless!” Luo Fei was so angry that he stood up. “Let’s see how long you can last, I can always count on you to be unreasonable. What the hell, how could my male god like someone like you?!”

“That you will have to ask your male god.” Xi Yanqing thought about his younger cousin, sighed and unknowingly picked up another bun. This bun not only did not have a skin, but there was also a big bite mark on it.

However, when he realized, he had already bitten a few mouthfuls.

Luo Fei looked at him, mouth wide open, it was awful.

Have a lifetime with this person? That was impossible!

“You should just withdraw from the marriage,” Luo Fei said again.

“Not withdrawing” Xi Yanqing’s attitude was extremely firm. “Why don’t you think about what to do when you have to go to the toilet. I bet you haven’t gone to the toilet here.”

“Toilet?” Luo Fei gritted out, “I have been there. What’s wrong with the toilet? Isn’t it just a little bit dirtier?” Ok, maybe the “little bit” was actually as big as the Ericsson Globe Arena.

[T/N: Thank you to a commenter for letting me know what the Ericcson Globe Arena is! It’s a very big stadium lol]

“You haven’t gone number two yet?” Xi Yanqing smiled.

“Fuck, so disgusting? You’re eating.” Luo Fei said so, but still thought about what to do about number two, he needed to properly analyze the situation. Then the more he thought about it, the more he felt that something was wrong. Then his whole face went red and then green as he thought. It was like changing traffic lights. Finally, he thought about it and almost vomited.

He remembered that he once went with friends from his dormitory to watch “Xun Qin Ji” (A movie known as “A Step into the Past) with friends in the dormitory. Xiang Shaolong (character from the movie) solved his problem and wanted toilet paper. As a result, the old uncle gave him a “tile”. Now, was it his turn to face the problem and find a shit stick?!

The shit stick, it sounded weird but accurate, but it was a matter of after finishing doing his business, wiping his chrysanthemum clean with a piece of wood!

Fuck!

Notes:

Here are some pics of steamed buns and pickled veggies! They go great together btw. I couldn’t find any pics of steamed buns with the skin peeled off lmao but it just makes the outside less smooth and shiny and looks like the inside of a pillowy loaf of bread.

The first dish is of pickled lettuce centers and the other is just some kind of greens. Radishes are also commonly pickled though you could really just pickle anything. The dishes are usually very salty and plant-y tasting which goes well with the slightly sweet plain buns.

Luo Fei is just such a funny character. I’m also loving ML more and more :3 The movie LF was referencing is this one if anyone’s interested; I haven’t watched it myself but it seems like it’s pretty well known(?)

https://mydramalist.com/27079-a-step-into-the-past

So if you’re wondering what a shit stick is, it’s basically a stick of wood people used in the ancient times to wipe the poopies off their booties before they had paper products lmao

Here is Wikipedia that has some more interesting facts about various instruments used to clean themselves after going number 2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shit_stick#History

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